Still confused....................

June 5th................

I talk with my family back in NY almost daily. I do not know if this is making it easier or worse. If this was a perfect world, my hubby and kids would pack up and come here, then there would be no tugging this way or that way. I a reminded every day, that at least for now, here with my mother is where I need to be. She is forgetting things, which is normal with the elderly, but she has had 3 grease fires in the past 2 weeks. The doctors have her on so many medications she cannot drive anymore and even needs help getting out of bed in the morning. On top of this, my step father is in the advanced stages of Emphazema (sp?) has Parkinson's , and early onset of Alzheimer's. He sits there with tubes in his nose for oxygen smoking cigs.makes sense right? NOT Worse part of it is, he has started getting violent with my mother, coming very close at hitting her because he has concocted some thing in his mind............. I am one of those that belive that the life cycle is, when we are children, our parents take care of us, and when they are elderly, we take care of them. I have come to learn, that not many people think the same as I, and would quickly throw their mother or father right into a nursing home and forget all about them. I cannot do this, I am just wired differently. All of this, and I am dying inside for not being with my husband and children. What would you do in this situation? Any and all comments are welcome, just please be civil..............I have enough on my plate.

so confused

I am a 43 year old mother of 4 children, and a grandmother of 2. I have not had the 'typical' family life most have had, meaning, I lost complete contact with my mother for over 25 years. Here I am, in NY, with my husband, my remaining children still at home, and all of a sudden my mother wants a relationship. For YEARS I have wanted that connection with my mother and now finally, I have the opportunity. She is elderly, and ill and there is no telling how much longer she will live. So I am faced with a choice..........go to where ,my mother lives, on the west coast to try and catch up on 25+ years, or say the heck with it. I chose to leave my family behind, and come be with my mother. I am happy and very sad at the same time. I am missing my hubby and children so much, but I am finally getting what I need from my mother, and that is love. I do not know if I am making the biggest mistake of my life, or if I made the right choice. I wish I knew what to do..........................